clouded beyond any recognition of a summers day

cold and dark. frightened and alone.

the darkness has become me

in it  i lie restlessly

within me it lies; in turmoil, violence and despair

but it is here to stay.

burden or pleasure, it is all mine

and i must make it my own.

I had laid my anchor in a ray of sunshine

a ray that was ever so bright

it came through and parted all the cloud.

but since sun changed to moon

and my anchor fell away

i sit here in the darkness

drifting with my pain

away.

Once upon a time
All those years ago
I’d chase my dreams
Not realizing the limits
That can hold me back
But now I see
Something will break
Hold you back
Make sure you don’t make it
Even though it’s fate
That tells you so
You were made for it all
A wish is all it takes
To make you break free
And start running away
From the hold backs
Towards your goal
Reach for the stars
Nothing is impossible
You got to have faith
You need to dream
You have to believe
That anything is possible
Because that’s what it takes
To be stronger than ever
Even though the past
Can hold you back
Believe in yourself
And you can do anything
Now it’s time that I
Take a step forward
Forget everything broken
But remember the lessons
That makes me who I am
One day I promise
I’ll come back and see
Walk through this place
And all the memories
Come running back
But for now
I’ll run away
To chase my dreams
Live my life away
And reach for the stars

Who do you look to?

It is I,

The Patron of Sins.

Do not worry,

About the blood you have shed,

About the lives you have stricken with anguish,

About the grin plastered across your face with triumph.

I am your king,

You are my servant.

We,

Together,

Are one.

In this darkness of disdain

       We are all powerful.

In this darkness

       We are unstoppable.

In this

       We are undead,

            Willing to rule

                   For Life-everlasting.

Don’t try to escape,

Because you shall never leave.

You’re trapped,

Within your own victory.

Flowing from me,

Like a river

Under

The midnight moon.

The heavy blue waters,

Traversing through countless destinations,

Not knowing its identity,

Where to go.

These heavy,

Blue,

Waters,

Running,

From decisions not made,

From questions not answered,

From anguish not put to rest,

Of not knowing.

Who

Am

I?

I laugh at jokes,

At least I know what makes m laugh.

People make me angry, and sad, and happy,

At least I know where to place emotions.

I can make decisions for myself,

At least I know what could be done.

But, I still know not,

Who I am.

I know my name,

My age,

 Everything about myself,

For what it seems.

But I just don’t

It tears at me every second,

Of every minute,

Of every hour,

Of every day,

For not knowing.

I just can’t explain it.

I feel like a stranger,

Trapped,

Guided by a common routine of everyday life,

Created by me,

When I knew who ‘me’ was.

But now,

I am clueless,

Knowing not where to continue,

So I will end,

Like always,

Like a river,

Heavy, blue waters

Running from

Who I Am.

A gunshot kills a man,
His family hidden in a basement,
Remain oblivious as they
Starve without his salary.

No one stands up
Against the devil.
They follow him to their
Doom. Killing innocent people.

Jews fall, but does anyone know
Of the Serbians that died
At your gun that you
Clutch with such reverence.

Forgive me if I
Cannot follow you
After you slaughtered
The soul of my grandfather.

Let me apologize
For being able to offer
Only this to you,
A single yellow carnation.

No matter how much
You struggle, they hold strong.
Bite back by cutting
Into your wrists.

The pain brings tears
To my eyes

It’s hard to fight
Tears and pain
In front of a guard
Whose purpose
Is to tear you down.

So I suck in a breath,
Accept the purpling
Of my fingers,
And let the guard
Lead me away,

My handcuffs rattling
With every step.

My thoughts are overlapping
Conflicting with pain
And what else besides sorrow

Feel my shattering heart
The pieces are falling out
All I ever wanted was
A sense of acceptance
Not this disaster

They said it was a fairy tale
Now it’s a nightmare

Trust your gut feeling
‘Cause it’s always right
Even if it seems like it’s wrong
Never be too reckless
Just be very careful

Turn all of this off please
I’m done with the excuses
Sorry doesn’t cut it anymore
Just a word without a meaning

Tell me the truth
And just maybe I’ll forgive
But I’ll never forget this

No, it’ll never be the same
As much as you might want it
I’ll never let this go

Can I just walk away from this?
I made the only exception
You broke my trust
My faith
My hope

Good job wasting my time
I never thought you’d do this
Second best hurts just as much
As finding out you never cared

Why don’t I just walk away?
Your lies are breaking me apart
It’s time that I am smart for once

I’ll keep my feet on the ground
Running farther away
My time here is limited already
The world will be moving on
And so will I

I’m going to set myself free
The truth will be my life preserver

But before I go away
I just wanted you to know
Life is a b*tch
And so is karma
You’ll get what you deserve

While I get my freedom again

I apologize for the profanity if you’re offended. I found that it fit perfectly in that phrase. It’s an angry one, thoughts and comments?

Walking down the street

Eyes focused on nothing

The radio telling me of a concert next Saturday

I can’t go, but I don’t like the band anyway

Someone’s coming

Walking past

And I focus on the sidewalk

Because the sun’s in my eyes

Making them water

How embarrassing

But then I notice

There’s glittering bits there

In the sidewalk

And I remember something

My sister told me years ago

About how they add glass

—Little bits of plastic too—

To concrete

Something about making it

Harder or lighter—something

But it’s pretty for recycled glass

For something sharp and jagged

Ground and pushed into the concrete

It sounds painful on anything else

And though it’s ground in

It’s also ground flat

Letting the sun reflect

And I wonder

How many people notice

As they crush out cigarettes,

Spit out gum,

Walk their dogs and not notice

As they do dog things on the curb

That they’re walking on recycled

Broken glass.

I hate this

So friggin much

It’s right there

Right at the edge

Sitting there

Waiting for me to give up

I can practically grab it it’s so close

And sometimes someone will shove it forward

Oftentimes they don’t

And the point will be dropped

I’ll drop it—I will

Then it’ll wait a while longer

And then mosey on over

But my point is past

So the forgotten word doesn’t matter

It will happen
You will die
Don’t deny
You entered my realm
Opened yourself to me
Tear you apart
Splatter, stained walls.

You’re not my first
Won’t be my last
This is always fun
But don’t forget
Others will reach your brutal end.

So
Stay away from darkness
If you try to face your fear
The menace will rise
Come down upon your dreams
The light you seek
Will be gone, without bliss. 

Your parents will cry
raise their arms high and ask why
I’ll sit near by
Laugh while they cry
They don’t know
That I get a high
Watching their children die