haha this turned into a good 30 min discussion after the Playwrite workshop. Still wanted to post it =) wrote it in about 2 minutes in writers craft
Something like this
i Don’t know how to explain
Do I let it out
Or keep it bottled in
The loss i’d go through
The emptiness I’d feel
It’s all too much
It’s all sureal
The words escape me
They can’t find their way
So forward
So rare
No one knows
The true power they hold
The fact that they can only be said
To that one special
Boy
Or Girl
But, How do you know
When its true
Or a lie
That you know your with the right guy
No one knows that for sure
If you’ve been with them
For a year or more
Its gotta be right
Its gotta be true
All you can say then is
I Love You
Nice job, well written. So much for the “No, I love you’s rule.”
Well, it’s a timely piece, following just on the bruised heels of Valentine’s Day. Here’s a thought, though, and I think – no, I know – I’ve said it before: spend some serious time in the revision/editing stage. I’m not just talking about identifying and correcting grammar mistakes or spelling; of course, I am talking about that, too, but I’m really referring to thought, language, and structure.
I can’t stress how important it is for you (and everyone in the group) to make it routine to review your own work critically and carefully before submission. We all get excited and eager to share a new piece of work, but we should make sure we’re trying to be objectively pleased with it.
Don’t get me wrong. You have a gift for being able to just snap a finger and have a poem written. (Yes, that’s a gift!) It’s quite remarkable, really, but, oh, what you could do with that created piece if you spent some time shaping it a little more. It’s similar to quickly sketching a drawing versus spending time turning it into a detailed picture or sculpture. Admittedly, you wrote this in about two minutes – again, that’s amazing – but I want you to force yourself to revisit and revamp your writing before you allow yourself to feel satisfied. It needs to be habit. Trust me, it’s essential to writing. The writing process itself is incomplete without that crucial last phase.
By the way, I’m not just addressing you here, but using you as an opportunity to speak to the group as a whole. I’ve read your writing for years now, and you and I both know your tendencies as a writer. I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. I do think, though, that you (you and every member of the writing group) have talent, and I think that talent deserves to be developed. The best way for that to happen, for you to grow and develop as a writer, is for you to try seriously editing your work. It can be a frustrating part of the process, but that’s because it requires patience, work, and a bit of self-criticism; start to do it more, though, and I guarantee you’ll thank me later.
Keep reading. Keep writing. Keep re-writing.
=)
thanks Tyra! i know eh!
and
Hurray for being “Exibit A” =) thanks Mr. Stidham
“The loss i’d go through
The emptiness I’d feel
It’s all too much
It’s all sureal”
I love those lines, they’re very touching and…depressing in a sense, but very relatable.
It’s a really great poem.